Monday, March 31, 2008

Caption It!



Leave your captions in the comment section!

Caption Contest Winners



First Place:
dude... that was some good shit..... Paisley

Second Place:
Hold my beer while I look for my contact lens. BobG

Third Place:
Can you hear me now? Dazd (Yes...totally biased..your point? lol)

Honorable Mention:
Oh No! Rex went and posted another of his goofy spooky stories! Rex

And a new Award...For the grossest, continuous sickening string of comments:
Tied What? and DooD (You guys are sick!)

Friday, March 28, 2008

Photoshopped or Real?

You are warned...if you cannot stand looking at trauma, DO NOT OPEN. This one is right up Ambulance Driver's expertise.
Leave your thoughts in the comments.



Have a great weekend!!!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

In a State of Confusion Rant or WTF Wednesday

Why is this news? WTF People!?!?!?! Ex-NBA ref, going through a divorce and wtf was his name again?

Wait...New Home sells fall to a 13-year low? WTF People!?!?!?! The article later had this to say...
"The number of homes on the market fell in February by 2.1% to 471,000. That was the lowest level since July 2005. But the reduced supply doesn't mean homes are moving: Inventory for February was at 9.8 months -- the same as in January and the highest since 1981. The housing sector is not without rays of hope. Mortgage applications jumped a seasonally adjusted 48.1% last week, the Mortgage Bankers Association reported this morning. Applications to refinance soared 81.1%, and applications for mortgages to buy new homes rose 10.6%. The average rate on a 30-year fixed mortgage fell to 5.74% last week, down from 5.98% the week before." Someone get the bullshit repellent and hip waders, its getting deep!!!

Why is it when you go into a hair cutting place, they always ask you, "How can we help you?" Well, after my haircut, you could change the oil in my car. My bank account needs balanced and my house is a mess. WTF People!?!?!?!

With all the fast food chains going to combo meals, does the phrase "would you like fries with that" still applicable? WTF People!?!?!?!

Why did someone teach a chimp how to use Karate?
Watch the video here: Charlie
WTF People!?!?!?! Has everyone forgotten the movie..."Planet of the Apes"?!?!?! All it takes if for Charlie to escape into the wild and next thing you know, BLAM..the jungle comes alive with Ninja Chimps!!! Whats that...primates can't train other primates? Uh...Ever heard of "Monkey see Monkey do"?!?! DUH

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Caption It!



Leave your caption in the comments!

Caption Contest Winners!



First Place:
So Timmy, remember when you bit the head off that chocolate bunny? BobG

Second Place:
Indiscreetly, the Easter Bunny let everyone know he was having a bad hare day. Ralph

Third Place:
Sadly, Timmy had no clue the Easter Bunny's gonads were really eggs or he'd not have punched him there! Dazd

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Caption It!



Ohhhh the joys of Easter!

Leave your captions in the comments.

Ps. No Dawn I didn't run out of pics. lmao

In a State of Confusion Rant

Why have the amount of Indiana deaths by drowning after driving your vehicle into water increased within the last 6 months? WTF people!?!?! Are the fish and other aquatic animals creating an invisible energy field and inherently messing with your internal compass?

Anyone watch the show on Discovery about what happens to the planet if all the humans ceased to exist? WTF people!?!?! Why not make a documentary on how to prevent this type of catastrophe? If I'm dead why would I care about what happens to my dog?

How about that show on Animal Planet about Chimps...Chimp Garden of Eden or something. WTF people!?!?! While I find the whole organization to be doing a worthy cause and humane treatment of animals, what am I really learning? If the whole human race ceases to exist, well except me, I would be able to interact with chimps? Planet of the apes comes to mind...

Why is Martha Stewart still profiting from her prison bitch days? WTF people!?!?! Whats next...Scott Peterson gets his own fishing show?

And why oh why are we being told our country is in a mild recession? WTF people!?!?! Its looking more and more like a depression is looming on the horizon. And I don't trust my bank now cos they are fraudulent and out to rip me off!

Let me see if I understand this: The Federal Guvmint bails out the mortgage industry because they were out to make a buck at our expense based upon subprime lending? WTF people!?!?! Where the hell was the Federal Guvmint when I had to file bankruptcy because my employer a few years ago deciding their profit levels weren't adequate and 500 of us got laid off? I'll tell you exactly where they were...waiting like buzzards circling the dead wanting their tax monies from my 401k accounts I had to rob to keep my house. Thanks to that, I can retire at the age of 90 now.

Why aren't the politicians running for office discussing how they are gonna get gas prices down? WTF people!?!?! All I hear about is the war this and the war that. I am proud to be an American but sometimes I feel that HUAS is rampant! HUAS = Head Up Ass Syndrome

WTF people!?!?!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Caption Contest Winners

Day late...my apologies!



First Place:
The regular excersize on Sweething's bike helped Guyk recover quickly. KeesKennis

Second Place:
Hilda's hysterectomy had some rather distressing side effects. Lee

Third Place: singing... "Pappa was a rollin stone wherever he laid his hat was his home!" Callie

Honorable Mention:
The new Harley Davidson ride was going to be BIG in Sturgis this year ... Ralph
The Harley dealership's service loaner left something to be desired. Trail-Mix

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Terrible News

This story is horrific, I just had to share.

Dateline March 13, 2008
Indianapolis

Federal authorities, in cooperation with state and local agencies, conducted the largest sting operation and raids on local parlors. The authorities estimate they've arrested 1,000 so far during this year long investigation. It was noted that some of these parlors were adjacent to schools and public playgrounds. Click the "Read More" button as this is so horrific I'm stating NSFW and cannot ethically post it out for all to see!

Over one thousand were arrested at various Peep Show parlors!!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Originally Posted July 18, 2006



This morning while sitting outside enjoying the morning serenity, having coffee, watching the neighborhood come alive...my dog apparently had her own agenda. She typically has her own agenda especially first thing in the morning. She was yapping and prancing over by the Snowball bush. I recalled her a couple of times to tell her hush but her ADHD kicked in after a few minutes and off she went. So naturally, I HAD to go investigate. I gulped the last of my coffee and meandered towards my excited canine. I didn't see anything at first and rather assumed it to be a psychotic episode of my canine companion. As I turned to walk away, I saw something strange in my primeval jungle I call my yard. Let's just say with the hot weather lately, I've neglected my yard mowing duties. I let the cat out last night and he disappeared into the undergrowth with the stealth of a lion. I'm certain the U.S. Forestry Service will come by soon and proclaim my yard a Wildlife Preserve. Which is fine by me...means I can't mow the yard or face rather stiff Federal penalties.

I investigated further the mysterious object and noticed it had strange colorations. Kind of a green and yellow striped object resembling a fancy garden hose. OMG...it was a garter snake. This snake was huge, slimy and moving! It had to be 10 feet in length. Teeth as long as my fingers with it's evil tongue sensing all the movement and it was quickly honing in on my position. Evil eyes this snake had...evil, pure evil. Was I mistaken, could it be a python had escaped from the comforts of someones house? Living in the city affords me not to generally have to deal with snakes. What to do...what to do. I could kill it, which is within my very nature, or I could remove it from my primeval forest to find refuge elsewhere. I decided evasive action was the first portion of my hasty deployment. I didn't want a battle where I would have to call in the National Guard for reinforcements. I had my canine companion for support but by this time she was in high overdrive. Not much use with Calvary support if the Calvary is off on it's own mission assignment. We quickly retreated into our bunker. We needed time to assess the situation and enact a battle plan accordingly. I quickly went in my command office and looked for Jeff Corwin's phone number. Darn it, forgot to get his new number last time he was here for dinner. I didn't have time to watch Animal Plant channel to see if he listed a phone number. IT Central was down from the previous evening and it would take waaaay too long to boot up. I could call the Department of Natural Resources but I didn't want to take a gamble on the Wilderness Preserve scenario. Awwww crap!

I left the Calvary inside, much to her dismay, and headed back outside into the shattered serenity I was earlier relishing. I had taken the time to outfit myself with appropriate attire and weapons of various abilities. Living in the city, I decided it was best to leave the double-barrel 12 ga. shotgun inside. That was my last resort...a Custer-like stand if needed. I cautiously forged a trail (to make a hasty retreat) with my handy machete. As I arrived at the Snowball bush, my senses were on heightened alert. My saber was drawn to defend myself and I took a defensive stance. Every noise, smell, sight and movement were detected. But my adversary was obviously very skilled in the art of camouflage. I saw not a trace of him. I cautiously moved the foilage aside hoping to find him. Nothing...he had disappeared without a trace. He had slithered into the abyss of my primeval forest to find refuge. He obviously had surmised that he was dealing with a far superior opponent skilled in the art of battle tactics and his defiance of giving ground would prove futile, if not fatal. As I wiped the sweat from my brow, I backtracked through my cleared path, I placed the saber within the scabbard and considered this a win. Another sucessful patrol without any enemy engagements.

I had just made it to the sidewalk, back to urbanization, when I saw movement in the tangled underbrush. The movement was slow and deliberate worthy of ninjitsu techiques. I heard a hissing/growling sound that sent chills up my spine. I froze, unable to move while my thoughts raced widly. Had the snake called for reinforcements...had I under-estimated the strength of the garter snake scout...was I going to be severely wounded right outside my door? Where was my Calvary!?!?! Then it happened...it attacked with lightning speed...it was charging right towards me...a gray and white blur! It pounced as I drew my saber and prepared to defend myself without mercy!

Damn cat!!!!!!! He wandered away with a prominent Chesire Cat grin.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Caption It!



Leave your caption in the comments.

Caption It Winners



First Place:
Mary, Mary, quite contrary...
How does your gardern grow?

With buns of steel, and arms revealed..
And pretty legs all in a row!
Dawn

Second Place:
"I could've sworn it said 'turnip seeds' on the package." A Blonde Blogger


Third Place:
"Taking Pot Alternatives to a whole new level." Callie

Monday, March 03, 2008

Caption It!



Hahahaha

Leave your captions in the comments!

Caption It! Winners



First Place:
The Johnson's never saw a problem living next to the nuclear reactor. Joni

Second Place:
Having a couple of zits is the least of our problems. Lee

Third Place:
Shssst! The FLintstones are on the t.v. Lilyruth

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Let's Talk Indie: Take the Next Step

Photobucket

Our first guest is Gary Helms! "From the hotspots of east Texas and southwest Louisiana to the traditional toe-tapping dance-halls of central and west Texas, Gary Helms has played to standing room only audiences and kept them screaming for more. Few artists have made such and impact on the Texas country music scene. Nonstop touring and professionalism have made him one of the most in demand country artist in Texas.

Gary was launched into the International spotlight in 1993 when a song "Rainy Night In Texas" became a fan favorite in Europe. He also started getting air play at many Texas radio stations as well with "Rainy Night In Texas" and "Daddy don't leave" both songs he penned himself along with co-writer Jim Rowland of (TBG) Texas Black Gold. Gary currently has songs on the radio in Belgium, Germany, France and the good ole... USA."

This series of podcasts will be dedicated to you, the new Indie artist. We will have seasoned artists explain to you their background, do's and dont's of the trade, the pitfalls they endured and the triumphs they achieved. This will be a hour long podcast filled with useful information as well as big name guests.

Each artist will have different perspectives on the major issues. These perspectives will be based on personal experience, a surprise or inside secret could be only a sentence away.





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