Laws of Life

* Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin
to itch or you'll have to pee.

* Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least
accessible location.

* Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.

* Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

* Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a
flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

* Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will
start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

* Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

* Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

* Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it
will.


* Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your
ability to reach and scratch it.

* Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
will arrive last.


* Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.


* Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on
a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet/rug.

* Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

* Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking
about.

* Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

* Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* Wilson 's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will
stop making it.