The List

There are events taking place that we cannot really understand. As children we are programmed to accept certain events or instances as idiotic or misguided. We talk privatley about them to ourselves or to a trusted individual. But we never cover the subjects within a group for fear of persecution. It's how we've been programmed from our earliest childhood development stages. And history is full of these scenarios playing out again and again, different players and scenarios but the reaction is the same.

I have this ability that I believe runs through my family from past generations. From my earliest childhood I recall events taking place and not understanding them, I asked questions of the adults surrounding me. Only one person, possibly two, truly understood what my questions were. And it wasn't until my late teens that the discussions took place without really saying it. There have been many events in my life that have left me dazzled if not puzzled. And simply, whether you believe in these abilities or not, they do occur within my realm of existence.

I have premonition dreams. They are capable of a very detailed nature and play out at a later unspecified time, exactly to detail. There are capable of message bearing types not necessarily detailed but the event does take place. The players in the premonition may not be exact but its all relevant.

Can I predict the future? No..there is no timestamp, relevance to dates or time frames. Just that it will happen. I don't even know what dreams will happen and which ones won't until the event occurs. It's all very puzzling and sometimes I've thought my sanity was teetering. But it's real and I have learned to accept it.

Why am I explaining this to the blogosphere? I cannot explain why but merely I feel compelled to deliver my message, even if through some anonymity. And to also give you, my dear readers, another insight into my dealings with death. I must confess I didn't see "the light" or any visions of my maker. I don't believe I ever passed out and I never saw any burn marks where defibrilation was given. But rather I dealt with death in a much calmer tone. As sense of reality and common sense interwoven like a fine blanket. Yes I have thanked my maker many times over. I have changed my life, not only physically and mentally but spiritually as well. And by spiritually, I'm not suggesting I've become a religious person overnight. That day is coming. I do believe in my maker and hold him the highest regard.

Spiritually I am referring to believing those events that surround me as factual. I am also accepting the fact of my previous events as true and accepting them as well. I am not denying them anymore nor am I going to persue them to extend its relevance. I am accepting them for what they are and what they tell me.

There is a list I have scribed. The list is tucked away someplace safe. I will know when I should review this list to inventory the players. And if all the players are present, I know my destiny. You see, this list was generated one week before my heart attack. This list was generated out of unexplained compulsion. The list played out in my dream. The players were real and they all spoke of past discussions I'd had with each one regarding death. The players have all deceased and all are with their maker. Yet the reason I was calm and sensible about what was taking place revolved around the fact that one person was missing from my dream. When the event was happening, I realized my dream was unfolding. The puzzling dream suddenly set reality into motion. And since that person is not on my list or in my dreams, that person will remain my guardian and teller of truth in my dreams. The person I spoke of death very early in life.