Monday, April 02, 2007

Dilemma #2

It seems I'll need to avail myself again of your Dilemma section because I find myself in a quandry. I feel I really don't need to deal with insensitive self-centered individuals like the guy I wrote to you about in January. But unfortunately it seems that he's decided to impose his online presence on me again, which I find both spiriitually and emotionally painful.

Read more and leave your comments. Our collective wisdom is once again being requested.


A few months back you and your readers were instrumental in helping me get through a tough time by giving me some really great advice. At the same time you all were wonderful in providing some much needed support and guidance on a personal matter. I followed your collective advice and got through the whole situation with dignity and some patience. It seems I'm once again in need of your collective wisdom.

The married individual whom I wrote about that led me on making me believe he was single and whom I severed all communication with back in January has decided to begin visiting a new site I created. In the past 4 days he has left comments for me that although inoccous, are very painful, because they are reminders of the lying, cheating scum he really is and of my stupidity in falling for his lies.

I've done nothing to invite these visits. In fact, I find his commenting at my site spiriitually and emotionally painful. Nor have I done anything with his comments because I want to make sure what would be an effective way of handling this. I've stopped posting at the new site, because its too painful to go visit there right now. Just discovering the comments on a daily basis feels like I've been kicked in the stomach each time. I've also NOT deleted his comments until I"m sure what the correct course of action is. I'm unable to ban his IP address at the moment and that feature won't be available anytime soon. You see I need to ban his whole domain, as has access to lots of pc's. My new site is unmistakably mine not only because its under my name, so there is no misconception of mistaken identity.

As I see it I have only 2 options left in this situation:

- not post at my new site for now (in order not to deal with him), then delete the comments and ban him from my site as soon as that function is availabe or

- delete the comments (because ignoring hasn't stopped him) and ask a male friend to email him asking the married scum to leave me alone. When I ended communication with him in January he continued emailing me for a week or so, and finally stopped only after the threat of me publishing a post of the situation with links to his site.

I hate the idea of involving a 3rd party, but some men it seems don't respect a woman when she asks to be left alone and it takes others in a show of support to force arrogant, self-centered individuals to back off and leave others alone. If you have another course of action or additional thoughts on how to handle this situation I'd really love to hear them, 'cause I must say, I've never dealt with anything like this. Please know your wisdom and words will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Jane Doe in a warmer & friendlier city

Original Dilemma Post

4 comments:

cmk said...

You just may have to 'drop the gloves' and threaten him. Tell him that you WILL contact his wife if he doesn't leave you alone--and then follow through if he refuses. Enough is enough already!

Hammer said...

I believe the site admin can ban a harasser

MrsJoseGoldbloom said...

I agree with CMK...and definitely follow through with it if he doesn't stop!

If it were me I would also look into the legal steps I could take against a cyber harasser.

Editor said...

I believe a can of MACE would do wonders for his attitude.