Four married guys go fishing.
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not
said word. So they asked him.
"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come
fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut
off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she
said, "Wear sun-block."
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites !
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ? He was trying to make both ends meet !
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ? He stole the show !
What happens when it rains cats and dogs ? You can step in a poodle !
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
My karma ran over my dogma.
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored!
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.