Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday Funnies

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it
has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.>

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for
use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself
a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives
new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good
old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the
name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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The Power of Beer

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The
son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he
can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes
him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up
the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. Wit h all the bar patrons
looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy
takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip!
Plop!!

Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!!" The
bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses,
shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop
out.
The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right
through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills
him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

"He should've quit while he was a head!"

H/T to reader Michelle for this one!

7 comments:

meleah rebeccah said...

"literally pour himself a stiff one."

That whole paragraph killed me!

Thanks for the Friday laughs.

sue said...

ooohhhh...

cmk said...

Ha, ha, hee, hee!!! :D

Mrs. Who said...

omg, I SO needed the laughs. Thank you!!!

Honeysuckle Rose said...

"This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them"

ROFL that rings true. Scary thought though ....

Teresa said...

The plus side is if they have bad sex, they won't remember that either. :)

Anonymous said...

Great Article Thanks.