Thursday, April 17, 2008

My Boring Weekend, Sorta

I was bored over the weekend. I called my good friend Dragon to see what she had planned. She wanted to stay at home, feeling depressed that her favorite Goldbloom was missing. I asked, "WTF is a Goldbllom?" She laughed and said, "Nevermind, you'd have to visit Gray Bros. Cafeteria to find out.

So I called my pal Ralph to see if he was going out to his favorite place. "Hell yeah!", he exclaimed, "Gotta get my fill of Boobies and Beer!" I met Ralph at the bar and first thing we saw was a Blonde with a laptop. I asked her why she had a laptop. She said her name was Dawn and exclaimed, "I write a blog named 'So a Blog Walks Into a Blog'." She asked what I was doing there, and naturally I exclaimed, "Watching boobies and drinking beer!" About that time A Brilliant Brunette walked in and everyone took notice.

Ralph had called Hoosier Boy to join us but he was busy grilling steaks and packing for a sales trip to someplace between BFE and YouShureGotAPrettyMouth. So I called Rex but he was busy cleaning up the Deer Camp and said Herschel would cut him out of the will if he wasn't finished by sunrise.

Two gents sat next to us and one said his name was Guy and the other we couldn't understand a damn thing he said. Now Guy was obviously being his Charming, Just Charming self with Dawn and the brunette. The other fella we still couldn't understand a damn thing he said until he started drinking. We still haven't figured out what KeesKennis stands for, but who were we to debate.

Ralph and I left after awhile and walked to the next bar. Along the way we saw an advertisement for "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and I was reminded of Mrs. Who and all the people in Whoville. I was pissed the day I found out my brother handed me The Torn Pages of my favorite Dr. Seuss book. All I could do was stand there and think What...? He and I never got along, it was like comparing Vinegar and Honey!

Soon a lady came walking down the street and all Ralph and I could say was Momma Mia! She was dressed to the hilt, although her fashion wasn't quite My Style, she still was easy on the eyes. She sat down at The Coffee Table and began talking to a Poker Girl in Vegas on her cellphone. It all sounded like allot of Pointless Drivel to me, but Ralph seemed intrigued with the Cool Single Mom. Ralph can sometimes be a Cynical Bastard when it comes to humor and he's tough to read. I still haven't figured out if he was an Ambulance Driver or not.

I headed for home and when I walked into the house, I went to the kitchen for a Tall Cool Drink. My Twisted Sister left me a note and sometimes she worries. If you ask me, It's All In Her Head. I thought it sure was nice to be Back Home Again as I sat outside on the deck and watched the sunrise. I was reminded how just the night before I had watched My Moon Rising. Sometimes I think I'm Out of my Mind and others times I just lead an Ordinary Life. I saw the table needed new legs but When Your Only Tool Is a Hammer its tough to saw anything. So that'll have to wait until next time. Last time I tried fixing it I injured myself. But thats another story.

So thats all for my Drunken Wisdom today. I'll just sit here for awhile thinking of my weekend consisting of Boobies, Injuries and Dr. Pepper.

This meme was passed on to me by Dawn @ Twisted Sister. If you wish to participate begin your story with a link to Dazd and Confuzed from Here and use your blog roll for the rest!


Dawn said...

LMAO! That was awesome!
I'm still laughing at "Gotta get my fill of Boobies and Beer!"

dragonlady474 said...

I think Gold's bloom has rotted on the root. lol
Thanks for the linkage!

cmk said...

That was too funny! Don't think I will try, though--I just DON'T have the imagination. :)

meleah rebeccah said...


you did such a great job with this meme!



Amanda said...

Hahahaha nice story. Kudos to that. "everyone took notice" haha you are awesome ;)

I have such a limited blogroll to make a story...hehe I have got to start adding tonight.

Dazd said...

Dawn - LMAO...liked that sis ya?

Drags - Is that what I smell? ewwww

cmk - as long as you liked it!

Meleah - awwww thank you! Maybe you should give it a try, my authorish type friend!

Amanda - hahaha Call it like I see it!

tony said...

thats all cute and all, except I'm not in your story. Hell, I'm not even on your blogroll anymore.

Dazd said...

Hell never posted for a long time. If ya posting regularly again, I'll put you back!

Jerry said...

Author, Author!

I thought after the first few paragraphs, that y'all had a blogmeet without me!

Did you survive the Indiana Earthquake of 2008?