Thursday, April 01, 2010

No April Fools

I had given serious thought about posting an April Fool's joke. It's only natural as it's in my blood and personality to make others laugh. But tonight I think I'll pass on the foolery as I don't post often enough for anyone new to understand my sense of humor. Tonight I'd rather reflect on a year of being unemployed.

Yes it's been over a year since I last worked for the "man". I have come to loathe the system of bullshit and how the economic situation has transformed. I remember growing up relatives whom I admired and respected telling stories of how they worked and retired after 30 years from the same company. I am old school I suppose wanting to find that one job I can retire from. But these are different times the last 20 years. Nowadays if you survive 5 years within a company you are considered an icon. Me...well I've survived a year on unemployment. Am I proud of it? Not really as I've done nothing the past year to show any gains whether monetarily or through self-accomplishment. I have survived...

I've been the whole gamit of the emotions people. One of shame to self-loathing to who the hell cares anyways. And yet I tell myself each day I file for unemployment, "This will be the week I change!" and yet I continue the endless cycle of laziness and lack of motivation. was all great being off work for awhile until the mundane routine set in. You know...the one like being at work wondering why you get paid the pennies while the "man" reaps the rewards of your labor. And yet I find satisfaction in showing the "man" I can survive.

Ironically its the "man" and the rewards of others labor that I survive. And I find it very troubling knowing this and yet I still continue the endless cycle. I accept the fact most people view me as a lazy bum. I don't dispute the fact...never have, never will. One thing I have learned is my stress levels are way down, I'm only as good as the effort I give and I really don't care what others opinions are of me. I firmly believe we spend an enormous amount of effort trying to conform to society's views on how to measure a man's worth.

Let me ask you this one question...

What have you done lately that's made your life easier?


meleah rebeccah said...

Ive been unemployed for over a year now too. And I was stuck on the emotional lazy/guilty roller coaster for a while too. But, I started taking long morning walks to start my day and that has REALLY made a difference in my life. Maybe its the fresh air, maybe its the endorphins, but Ive been so much more productive and less lazy for the last 9 weeks.

Freddie said...

I'm still praying for you, my friend.

Hmm... What have I done lately to make my life easier?

I've worked on damaged and broken relationships - tried to repair them so that they don't suck so much of the life out of me when they manage to "invade my brain" every now and then.

...I know. Probably not what you were looking for here.

callie said...

Well, lets see... My birthday was in March and since it has been a looong time since I had a mans help in busting a nut, I found a site online that sells sex toys at deep discount. So i racked up 70 dollars worth. Only problem, when I got this big box and opened it, majority of the stuff scared me and I kindly wrapped it back up and stuck it in my closet. Havent opened it since..... Leave it to me to make you smile my friend.

yeah- That was joy.
love ya!