How to End a War

Throughout history and mythology, women have incited wars. Homer's lliad details how Helen of Troy (formerly of Sparta) launched 1,000 ships. Helen was so beautiful that Greek men went to Troy to win Helen back from Paris. Thus we have the Trojan War that lasted 10 years.

Cleopatra and Mark Anthony were lovers during the Roman Empire. Mark Anthony was giving away parts of the Roman Empire to Cleopatra and her children. The Roman Empire finally declared war on her. When Octavian declared war on Cleopatra, off the coast of Greece in the Adriatic Sea they met in one of the most famous battles in history: Actium. The Egyptian defeat was often attributed to the early withdrawal of a coward Cleopatra from the battle scene. Realizing that her end is close, she decided to put an end to her life. With the death of Cleopatra, a whole era in Egyptian history was closed.

I've taken the liberty to shorten today's history lesson. Today's events in the Middle East has been a tragedy on all fronts. Recently the violence has spread outside the Afghan and Iraq borders. We now have the Israelis fighting to maintain their freedom. We have the Syrians, Iranians and Lebanese silently waiting to see what unfolds with the fight of Hezbollah. Yes, I realize they are instigating and funding this fight, but militarily speaking, they've been silent. I think Tammi speaks volumes when she states the obvious in her post titled "I Figured It Out".

I can't help but wonder how in the hell we got to this place in time. So many fighting, planning on fighting and feeling their way is the ONLY way.

How did it get to this?

Then it hit me.

Lack of sex.

The world is not having enough sex. If you're busy doin' the wakawaka you don't have time to be worryin' about what your neighbors are doin' or not doin'. Your hands would be too busy to push folks around (well, unless you're into that sort of thing).

Yep. That's got to be it. Lack of sex.

So - my solution to all the anger and hatred in the world today is have more sex.

Simple and straight forward.

This statement has me thinking too. Why not start an organization for World Peace? It would have to be simple, because we all work, yet diplomatically efficient. An organization with a Mission Statement that speaks in volumes with few words. A hierarchy thats easily distinguishable yet very appealing.

So I'm doing my patriotic duty and organizing this World Peace organization. I'm proud to be an American and feel its my civic duty. We need to bury the hatchet and bring this violence to an end. So I am taking applications for such an organization. I'll gladly sift through all the applications submitted with photos and hand pick each member. This is a way to show my patriotism and make a difference. The name of the World Peace organization you ask?


Boobs For Peace


I strongly believe as this organization evolves our ways of venting our frustrations will quickly dissolve. I mean think about it guys...would you rather kill someone or look at boobs?