My Love of the Outdoors

This past weekend I relived some childhood memories. At the age of 41, I rarely relive memories unless it’s through the antics of my son. But this past weekend was all about me and the great outdoors.

We pitched camp around 9 pm Friday night after a long day of hiking. Pitching a tent and setting up camp in the twilight is tedious at best. Trying to hold a flashlight and hammer in tent stakes leaves a few bruised fingers. Nonetheless, it was accomplished in record time and we quickly set off on another hike. Upon returning to camp, we quickly realized that it was 1 AM and the sun would be rising in a few hours. Sleep deprivation wouldn't be an excuse the following day so we bid all a good night and went to our tents.

As I listened to songs on my iPod, I quickly drifted off to sleep. I was tired...had not been this physically tired in many months. I awoke the next morning to sounds of helicopters overhead. The camp area was buzzing with activity and everyone was moving in unison like a colony of ants. I dragged my sorry butt out of my tent and stretched in the morning sun. I stumbled over to the vehicle to get the days rations and clothing. I quickly changed into my outfit and headed for the staging area. My teammates had let me slumber and for this I wasn't too happy. But I couldn't find them as I looked all about the grounds. I was informed my teammates had left already and if I climbed aboard the Humvee, I'd be whisked away to their location.

Passing armed guards, barbed wire fencing and numerous tents I was apparently in another time and dimension. We rumbled down the road with the communications blaring and the officer ordering this and that. I heard talk of uranium contamination and terrorist activities. What the hell were my teammates doing? Fire trucks were everywhere and injured people were given medical treatment by EMS. Police in riot gear had one area secure and this is where our Humvee went. I was informed by the Army Officer the team had located a creature and were currently trying to remove themselves from the area. I asked for a recon team and was denied my request. I was handed an MP4, a few hand grenades and well wishes. I would be going solo, due north from my location in search of my team.

The helicopters flew low and caused a whirlwind of dust. At least I had air support and although I couldn't communicate via radio, I could use hand signals. I quickly relied on my training 30 years ago as an advanced scout for the Green Berets. I recalled my partner who taught me all he knew, and his tragic death at the hands of Bigfoot. Gruesome sight it was.... As I made my way through the meadows and assorted buildings, a shiver went up my spine. This was my early warning that something wasn't right. I made my way cautiously now, making minimal sounds and staying alert for movements. I clenched the MP4 and made sure I had the safety off. Sweat was beading across my forehead as the mid-day sun beat down on me. There was no shade and no cover here in the meadow. I was all alone and feeling mighty fearful at the moment.

It was at that moment I saw movement in the distance. I quickly kneeled in the meadow and kept a vigil on the suspicious movement. I heard strange sounds and orders being given in another direction. I moved stealthy and when I reached the edge of the meadow, I saw men in alien suits. These men had captured a large caterpillar and were inspecting the caterpillar for any damages. I saw many suits go in and very few come out. Maybe they were feeding the caterpillar with these zombie like men in alien suits. I returned my attention to locating the original source of movement. I quickly located the movement and headed in that direction. I had just made sure the MP4 was loaded when the movement had a memorable gait. I realized I had located my team!

After much rejoicing and sighs of relief, I was informed the beast had taken refuge in the nearby building. We quickly called in our coordinates and asked for close air support. We were denied air support as my original air support was off flying a resupply mission. Base Camp had called and reported Butter Pecan Ice Cream supplies were low. Drats! We devised a plan to battle this creature ourselves. We would send a dog in to lure the beast out of his lair. When the dog emerges, we would attack with disregard to humane treatment and conquer this beast.

Before we could send the dog in, we heard a sound from deep within the bowels of the lair. We all stood frozen, in fear our movement would trigger a strike. I kept hearing, "If they don't move they can't see you." And after a few moments, the beast struck without mercy. We dodged frantically for cover and our dogs ran like scared kittens. So much for mans best friend and protector.



The snake quickly gained control although we had him outnumbered. He struck mercilessly and just when we thought he'd tired of our valiant battle, he grabbed my foot. I was being dragged into the bowels of his lair. All of a sudden I heard, "Damnit Dazd, wake up will you? Its 9:30 and we're on clock at 10."

My Green Beret buddy from 30 years ago would be proud of our courage and valor during battle. To think I almost met his demise albeit in the jaws of a snake, not Bigfoot.

Note to self: Don't eat pickles right before bedtime.