Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Hot Wednesday!!!


You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.

The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."

Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.

Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.

A scalding hot shower still cools you down.

You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.

People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.

A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.

The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

You need a spatula to remove your clothing.

You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather.

You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!

Lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell.

You burn your hand opening the car door.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

You are sitting inside reading these jokes.

Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...

"People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames."

Yeah, it's that hot here. Good Lord!!!

Glad to see there's a FOTL traditionalist in the house... :)

Dazd said...

The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."

That is my favorite. LOL

sue said...

I think I've experienced at least 10 of these in the past few days... ;)

cmk said...

I feel like this every day the temp is above 72 degrees! Yeah, I have problems...

Very, very funny. :)

Dirk_Star said...

If you have not watched An Inconvenient Truth yet I highly recommend it...

You will look at our weather in a whole new light.

I'm out saying hello tonight and catching up on some reading.

We've been a little busy with the new baby.

The Sarcasticynic said...

You leave your eyeglasses off because you're tired of wiping the condensation off every time you go outside.

You try to negotiate turns while playing "Patty Cake" with your steering wheel.

You pay to see a movie in a theater you know you won't enjoy - even Harry Potter.

meleah rebeccah said...

yup! its been THAT hot around here too. I think thats why I woke up with a voilent migraine. I spent the whole day in bed today with ice pacs and sleep masks on my face