Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You Might be a Redneck....

If'n you use these lines...

Redneck Man's pick up lines

1) Did you fart?

Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?

Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .

I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?

Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?

Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
But beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,

But I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
We kin sleep til afternoon.

And.... The best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
Every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

H/T to Shirley


Editor said...

Hey! you gave away my best lines!

paisley said...

this was great!!!! i laughed the whole way thru... and tell them people they stoll my dog !!!!

DNR said...

OMG!! I love #8 Fat Penguin... BAWHAHAHahahaha!!!

Lee said...

Can't help but wonder, if this couple gets divorced, will they still be brother and sister?

cmk said...

As much as I chuckled over all of the lines, I have to admit that Lee's line made me laugh out loud! I'm happy I swallowed the coffee before reading it. :D

Callie said...

Oooooooooo Imma tell Dixie you talkin about her kin!



Dawn said...

LMAO!!! If I had to choose a winnner...
6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

BobG said...

...and the baby will grow up to be President of the United States...

dragonlady474 said...

LOL I laughed hysterically over the last line.

Anonymous said...

Dad is that you?